Tips for NOT Selling Items Online

Are you tired of fulfilling orders? Wanting to take a vacation now? If selling online is just proving to be too much of a hassle, take these following steps to ensure that any visitor to your site decides instantly that ordering from you is not worth it:

1.) Start off with a cluttered homepage. Instead of displaying a few signature, new, or sale items on your homepage in typical Web 2.0 website style, go for broke by displaying almost everything you sell. This will ensure that any customer will feel completely overwhelmed upon entering your site and should turn back to their Google search to find some other merchant whose site is better organized. While you are at it, go for that downtown Vegas feel by stuffing your homepage with unnecessary Flash files or gifs. This will truly distract your customer of their intended goal, which was only to purchase something from you.

2.) Use stock descriptions with little to no valid information for your product pages. So what if that customer has been browsing the internet for two hours just trying to find useful information about a product? Give them the same description that they have read on everyone else’s site so they know you truly have no intention of helping them or closing a sale. This works in your favor twofold, since using a stock description will guarantee that your description will be seen as duplicate content to search engines and therefore will not get indexed. Who needs more traffic to those pages anyway when you are not trying to get sales in the first place?

3.) Establish no credibility on your site. Customers have no idea if you are trying to scam them or not. Keep it that way by failing to display a phone number, a return policy, an address, or any references to your business beyond what they are seeing at that time. Keeping your SSL current is also not useful either.

4.) Do not keep up with your competitors’ pricing online. Customers have access to dozens of comparative shopping sites and can easily see pricing of all your major competitors within minutes. There is no point in keeping up with what your competitors are doing if you aren’t interested in selling anything anyway.

5.) Set your site and forget it. Improving conversion is an ongoing process, so just expecting the orders to come in should be good enough for you.
Selling online is hard work, and hard work can really cramp your style. Using these tips will ensure that you’ll never get bothered with orders again.


2 Responses to “Tips for NOT Selling Items Online”

  1. emonome | Want To Fail in Your eCommerce Business?

    This article will be used in another Blog, thank you.

  2. Emon

    Lol! This is funny. I’ll make sure I follow everything you suggested here…in the bizarro world.

    Great tips, thanks!


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